And There's No Need To Apologise (You Can Always Change Who You Are)
by Annie1268
Summary: Follow-up to Not The Boy I Was (Held Me Down In This Starless City): Oliver comes out to Mo.


_Starless City was originally a much longer fic than I posted it as. Here's one of the scenes that didn't get published at first. I really like it and also there's not enough Mo love in this fandom. Title from Spanish Moss by Against Me!. (Someday I'll get done for copyright for all these titles, probably... hey, if I give credit it's okay, right?)_

It's not long before people figure out that Oliver has something on their mind.

Mo asks them, a few days (or nights, technically, given that it happens during a night shift) later, during surgery: "Oliver, is something wrong?"

They don't answer, so Mo continues. "You've seemed really off for a couple of weeks now. I thought maybe you and Zosia just had a row, so I didn't say anything, but it's been ages - are you having relationship problems?"

"Why are you asking me this _now_? You could've at least left it 'til after we finished this surgery."

"Because who knows if I'd have gotten the chance to talk to you then! You've seemed really unfocused, you're not as talkative as you usually are, you're pushing people away - I'm just worried about you, Ollie. You know, if you're struggling you might want to take some time off-"

"I'm _fine_, alright?" Oliver interrupts before Mo can say anything else.

Mo seems to decide to leave it after that and they finish the surgery in near-silence, but she brings it up again when her and Oliver are both washing their hands afterwards. "If it's private, okay, I understand, I just want you to know that you can tell me."

"And if I felt the need to, I would."

Mo sighs in frustration, but she doesn't bring it up after that.

It's actually Oliver who brings it up next, when they catch her in an otherwise empty hallway a couple of hours later, and they've got a few minutes to spare. "Um, sorry about earlier, by the way. I'm just tired and a bit stressed - that's all. But I shouldn't have snapped at you like that."

"Apology accepted."

They don't plan to say anything to Mo, not really, but the words come slipping out of their mouth anyway: "You know what 'nonbinary' means, right?"

"Someone who doesn't identify as male or female, yeah, I know. I've seen it on the news, I've had some nonbinary patients - I'm familiar with it." She pauses, her demeanor becoming a bit more serious, before saying "so why are you asking?"

"I - um - I had a patient a couple of weeks ago, and they said they were bigender, and it got me thinking about that stuff and -" they take a deep breath, "I think I might be nonbinary or genderfluid or something. Actually, scratch the 'might be', I probably am nonbinary or genderfluid or something."

Mo nods. "Okay. Does Zosia know?"

"She was the first person I told."

"How'd she react?"

"She was fine with it. More than fine with it, really, she actually stayed up late the night I told her because she wanted to research it."

"She's definitely a keeper," Mo smiles. "Anyone else?"

"Not until you, no."

"I assume you want to tell other people yourself," Mo laughs, slightly, and it's not forced, but it's not a humor-fueled laugh either, really - more just a friendly one.

"Yeah. I mean, if I tell anyone - I don't know. I'm still pretty confused about the whole thing myself."

Mo nods again. "Yeah, I'd imagine it is pretty confusing. So, do you want gender-neutral pronouns or anything?"

"I don't- I'm not sure, I've been thinking about that. Maybe. I mean, 'he' feels right sometimes, but other times - like today, actually - it just feels wrong, y'know?"

Mo puts a hand on Oliver's shoulder (it takes a bit of reaching, due to their height difference, but she manages it). "You don't have to have it all figured out right now, you know. Take as much time as you need, that's my advice - although I don't exactly have personal experience." She smiles.

* * *

They end up working with Mo (and an F1 who's only been working on Darwin for a few days now - his name is Elijah or something like that) on another surgery later.

At one point Elijah is questioning Oliver's technique, and they don't necessarily mind, because they were a clueless F1 once too (albeit Elijah is presumably actually qualified, so he's got a better start than Oliver ever had), but he starts his question with "uh, Mr. Valentine-" and that's really not what Oliver needed to hear tonight.  
They answer the question anyway (because it's not Elijah's fault, he just doesn't know), and try to ignore the title that prefaced it.

It's right after they finish answering the question that they notice Mo giving them a sympathetic look, and Oliver's never been big on sympathy, but they appreciate it regardless.


End file.
